Articles

WALKING ON WATER
(written and compiled by Linda - ex Connecting Christians member now residing in the USA)

Hi Everyone

I'm a Cape Town based member of Connecting Christians and I earn my living as a writer/editor. Debbie and I were talking about life and love and expectations, and our conversation took on an interesting turn. She asked me if I'd like to write about it, I said "Yes", and the article below is the result!

Its my prayer that you will be encouraged by it.
Blessings
Linda

Walking on Water.

What if I were to tell you that your soul mate, the person you’ve always dreamt of meeting, was just about to enter your life? You’d probably laugh, and rightly so! But the truth is that when people like us join a Christian introduction agency, it’s because we’re hoping to meet that “someone special”, right?

Sure it is.

No need to feel bad about that. Whatever our reasons for joining—and they are legion, including loneliness, boredom, desperation, etc—we’re all here because there are needs inside us that are unmet. And one of the deepest needs we share, for no other reason than that we are human, is the need to be loved, appreciated, and accepted.

We need to know that we matter to other people. That we belong!

It’s what keeps us looking and looking—and looking for love in very odd places. For example: you’ve been invited to Boring Cousin Harold’s wedding. You barely know him but you think you’ll go anyway. Just in case…

Just in case what?

Well, just in case…well, who knows, you might meet someone there. After all, as a good Christian, you don’t do the clubs, pubs and raves thing; you’ve already checked out the singles scene at your church; and you don’t ever want to hear the words ‘blind date’ again! And boring he may be, but Cousin Harold is a Christian, so maybe his guests will be Christians too. So off you go, with hope tucked in your back pocket like a spare handkerchief, and once again, you end up drinking too much, and making small talk with a bunch of married couples and elderly relatives, while surreptitiously checking your watch to see how soon you can leave.

I know—after innumerable visits to dead ends like these, hope starts looking less like a fresh hanky and more like a twice-used tissue.

So then you think about computer dating, and you visit one of the numerous internet dating sites, but you’ve heard all the scary stories about Big Bad Wolves lurking behind usernames like MarysLittleLamb, so you think maybe not…besides, you’re not that photogenic—you’ve always relied on your personal charisma to get by.

But as the years slink by, and your single status remains unchanged, you start wondering if that charisma is even there any more, or if it’s gotten as thin as your hair, as wrinkled as the skin around your eyes, as tired as your feet at the end of a long day…

And then one day you discover something like Connecting Christians and you breathe a huge and hopeful sigh of relief. At last! A way to meet decent Christians. Single Christians. People just like you.

And to be honest, the whole process is a lot easier because when you’re introduced to someone, you both know exactly what’s going on. The unspoken message is there, loud and clear.

I’m available. So are you.

I’m looking. So are you.

Are you gonna be The One?

So. Here we all are, waiting on tenterhooks to connect with Mr or Ms Just-Right-For-Me.

But let’s just stop a minute and think. As we move through life, we meet a lot of people. Single, married, male, female, black, white, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, old, young—the permutations are endless. Some of these we spend five minutes with and never see again. Others engage us in conversation for a longer period. Yet others become part of our lives for a season. And then there are those special few, who arrive and stay for a long time, maybe even forever, enmeshed in our hearts and souls.

In every case, the potential exists for those people to bring something into our lives that we never expected. A word of encouragement, a compliment, or a challenge. Or it might be the other way round as we help them find a new beginning, or healing for old wounds. Perhaps it’s God’s will for us to be a blessing to the elderly widow who needs a lift to church one Sunday. And sometimes we are ministered to when a friend says something that helps us see a problem in a whole new light. Or, in the tradition of the best romantic movies, a brief encounter on a train leads to a moment that changes our lives forever.

If we are truly trusting God to guide our steps, if we are truly abandoned to His will in everything we do, then can we accept that all of those whose lives connect with ours are in some way part of His plan for us? Definitely, I hear you say. God is in control!

So why would it be any different when we meet people through Connecting Christians?

But all too often, it is different. We get so caught up in the search for Mr or Ms Right-For-Me, that we forget that there are other ways of relating to the people we are introduced to. So, what I want to suggest is that while you wait for God to open the door for Mr/Ms Right, why not be open to being available to others? After all, you can only marry one person, but there no boundaries for friendship and caring.

The guy you met last week, who you know will never be your particular Mr Right? Why not see him as a regular person, just like you, with his share of mistakes and regrets, his hopes for the future, and his own failing charisma? Befriend him. Offer him hope, support, encouragement. There’s no rule that says you have to fall in love with him. But don’t cut him dead just because there are things about him that don’t fit your personal Mr Perfect-for-Me picture.

And you guys—what about that girl you met who is maybe a little older than you, or perhaps a little plumper than you’d prefer? Are those reasons to strike her off the list? Friends can have fun too! Movies, picnics, hikes and long chats on the phone. Share your dreams and hopes. Isn’t it great to be able to really talk to someone? This is not about a permanent commitment. This is about ‘being there’ for other people. People just like you, who want to be loved, who want to be needed, who want to feel like they matter to someone.

I guess what I’m trying to say is we need to be open to God and to others. Trust Him to guard your heart and your life and your emotions. More than anyone else, He knows the things we need. So trust Him to bring you together with that Perfect-for-You person—in His time. And in the meantime, make friends and be a friend. In fact, I’d go as far as to say—don’t rush into meeting someone face to face, hoping like mad that the chemistry will be there. Get to know them a little, find out who they really are by email, by talking on the phone, even by praying for them, before you rush off to meet them.

The reason I say this? Well, as an example, I have three writing friends who live in the States. We spent over a year ‘talking’ online, sharing our writing, our dreams, our hopes, and praying for each other. When we finally met up in California last year, it was like coming home to old friends, even though we’d never met before. And when we did, physical appearance played no role in our appreciation for one another. The affection remained, regardless—in fact, it grew deeper despite the fact that none of us was physically perfect.

Yes, I know, none of these were potential lovers or marriage partners. And I’m the first to agree that physical attraction is important. But so often, when that first impression doesn’t match up to our expectations, we become wary of allowing any sort of relationship to develop. And just imagine if God wanted to use you to minister His grace and healing to a soul in need, but you walked away because the looks or the mannerisms weren’t right?

Be brave, guys and girls! Take a risk and trust God.

And by the way, let’s remember to pray for Debbie. Hers is an awesome task and she needs all the prayer support we can give her, if she is to be His instrument in this area for some of us.

Blessings to you all!

Previous Articles

1. How do we know when we have met the right partner?
2. Being single.
3. Is Church important?
4. Is tithing important?
5. Walking on water
6. Smoking - Is it a sin?
7. Divorce - Can we remarry?
8. S*x before marriage - Is it right?
9. Waiting for God
10. Man's Companion

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